I'm back. = ) I've been getting into the swing of things and just needed a mental vacation away, so I took one. There are a lot of NEW things happening with our family. First and foremost I have been dealing with all day sickness and carrying out my other duties as wife and mother. We found out that we are expecting another child April 2014. Our toddler just started her first week of pre-school. We are over the moon excited about the new changes with our family.
I think over the past few months I have learned a numerous amount of things about the people in my life. My husband is a father and a damn good one. He is a father, not a father figure. A father figure is a basketball coach or Uncle who tells you to pull up your pants and teaches you other life lessons. A father is someone who is actively involved on a day to day basis, a person who takes care of their child, disciplines, teaches and plays with their child.
When I speak of a blended family. I am talking about the immediate family unit, my husband, myself and our children. I have a wonderful support system in my family and my in laws. If you ask my in laws how many grandchildren they have, they'll tell you they have one with another on the way. No step-grandchildren, a grandchild , to ask them how they feel about having their first "Real" grandchild (trust that has been said out loud to them.) it is pretty offensive.
I don't think people understand a love like that. To love a child who is biologically not yours but loving them as if they are. That type of love is incredible. People say they understand verbally, but their actions say differently. It's hard to expect someone to understand when they haven't experienced God's love. God's love is limitless, it heals all wounds. Trust, that's something we know well in this household. I acknowledge good and well that my daughter has 2 fathers. Ask Kolby, she'll tell you. Our doors are always open to anyone who wants to see her or visit. It's been like that since day one. The fact that some don't take advantage of it, or feel a certain way about it, that's on you.
To tell me my husband is a father figure is an insult and rubs me the wrong way. I have an amazing dad. I have a great father in law. I have also had my share of father figures as well. My blended family works the way it works. Is there room for improvement ? Always. Like my husband stated what works for us may not work for you. Some of our friends don't know how to blend and frankly it makes no difference. My family exemplifies love. Lori said it perfectly in her blog, " We surround ourselves with people that will lovingly support us." For me that's not just with their words, but also with their actions.
I think about it now because we don't believe in step this and half that. My next child will be her brother/sister. We are put here for a purpose and my family was put together for a purpose. Lori also said, " Peoples thoughts, actions and decisions are out of our control, I chose not to live my life for others." Some of our friends and family have blended well and some have not at the end of the day you can chose to be a part of our unit or not.
