Brandon and I were talking on his lunch break today. We talk everyday unless he falls asleep or schooling spills over into the afternoon. It happens. He was just telling me that he wanted me to make a list of classes that I wanted to take, classes that I am interested in. Classes where I can further develop my skills. Whatever those skills may be. He also apologized for not being supportive in the past. He said you're an amazing mother and wife. He said, " I know me and the kids make you happy, I know that you have joy from Jesus and that makes you happy, but past that you don't have anything for yourself." It is a true statement recently we have been talking about how life is short and long at the same time. In an instant life as we know could be taken away from us, and in the same sense we cannot live fearfully because of that. He said we can fit in classes for you before you go back to grad school.
I think what stood out to me the most is him apologizing and then him saying let's do this. Let's make this happen. Life is indeed too short to not pursue the things that make us happy. I have a friend who finally got to take that horticulture class that she wanted to take. Which I think is awesome by the way, because we share the same love for growing beautiful things, helping to nurture and watching things mature. If we love something we should go after it. 2017 has awakened something in me a thirst for knowledge, to be a student always, to want to listen to others more with an open mind and an open heart, to create and build the relationships I want, asking God to continue to do a work in to mold me into the person that I am supposed to be for him. I am inspired and want to continue to have that fire lit. More of HIM less of me. Does that make sense? I refuse to live on this earth although temporary, and not do what I was put here to do no matter how unattainable it sounds to most people. I will not work a job for the rest of my life that I do not like. I will no longer waste my time on things that don't matter.
We have to stop saying what we will do and just do it. Stop making the excuses and finding all the reasons not to do it. I am truly guilty of doing all of the above. We have to go after the things we want and tackle things a day at a time. All it takes is getting started, get the ball rolling as they say. God has giving us these skills, talents, gifts for a reason. They're not just for us ladies and gentlemen they're for others as well. When we don't do what we are called to do or start walking in our purpose how many people do we miss helping? I have been getting acclimated to being a mother of 3 for quite sometime. I was so disappointed in myself last year. I love to read, like seriously love to read. That meme of the woman paying for cleaning supplies, groceries, not buying clothes and making in rain when it was time to buy books. Yeah that totally me. Bringing it back to last year I read a total of 1 book for myself and of course countless children's books. (seriously though we read books everyday.) This year I said that I would read more books, how would I do that with the same amount of time? I cut down my time on social media and I stopped watching t.v. I already wasn't watching a lot of t.v.. I read 3 books in January, while I have slowed down this month I am half through another. If I want to complete various tasks I have to be conscious of how I spend my down time. (Is it ever really down time with kids?)
I am so grateful for the amazing conversations that I have had recently and being able to bounce ideas off of other people. We are created to be in relationships with other people, we desire to be in those relationships. I value my relationships and I don't take them for granted. I was messaging a friend a few days ago to check on her and her family. The conversation was right on time and she was extremely encouraging. She doesn't know what that means to me, because some of the closest people to you aren't that supportive and encouraging. She did say,"I encourage you that no sacrifice is pleasant at the time,but you will succeed." My advice make moves and let people watch you work instead of running your mouth. I am learning. I am extremely thankful for the transparent relationship that Brandon and I have. Thank you for the pep talks, for being inspiring and encouraging for letting me stand upon your shoulders so that my feet don't touch the ground love.
2017 has already started off amazing.
