Say it LOUD.....

Not too long ago I was reading a blog a good friend of mine had posted. I immediately went to Amazon to purchase the book she was talking about. I had been in dire need of a good read. Then you know at the bottom after you purchase something, it has users who purchase this often purchase this...and they have suggestions. I then see this documentary, Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975. A week prior my husband and I had watched a documentary on 2Pac. The Black panthers were very powerful. Like Dr. King said,"There's power in numbers." Meanwhile the tradgedy of Trayon Martin is going on. My husband and I discuss EVERYTHING. (One of the pros of marrying your bestfriend.) Maybe this is the incident that will get everyone to come together. It doesn't need to be a temporary coming together but a more permanent coming together. During the civil rights they marched, they had sit ins, peaceful protest, they did whatever it took to stand up for justice/equality.
    Is it our time? Me, I sit here and think what can I do personally to make a difference? I can't be the only one that wants to do it, there have to be others like-minded that want to do the same. What does it all mean? My husband and I were trying to figure out how we were going to incoporate that into our ministry. What was the Black Panther movement missing? It was missing God. After Dr. Martin Luther King Jr died, who emerged next continuing that movement? We have to know our history, understand where we come from and understand our struggles as a people in order to help move forward. But you know what I loved most about the women of the Black panthers? They were educated, they took pride in that. What do we as Black women take pride in? What clothes we wear on our bodies, the shoes we wear on our feet and our hair? Really? What do we stand for as a whole? We need to focus on being more conscious and educating ourselves, figuring and asking God, hey what do I need to do for you, just use me. God has given us all a purpose. I'm soaking up all the knowledge I can, so when it's time for HIM to use me I'm ready. Is it your time?

Enlightenment

I started a blog a couple of days ago, saved it to my USB drive, and then my drive died. I was only sad because it was a pretty good blog. I have found myself in this weird place for a few days last week. I was in a FUNK, a huge one. I have an amazing husband, who goes above and beyond to make sure I’m happy. I have a spunky 2 year old, who is as sweet as pie. The remaining friends that I do have are great and supportive. A great support system my family and in laws. Last but certainly not least (saving the best for last) this awesome, awesome God who loves me and accepts me, like Beyonce’s song Flaws and All. I am grateful for my job which drains most of my energy throughout the week.

Every day I wake up, besides being thankful for being woken up, one of the first thoughts on my mind….I look over at my husband and think damn he’s fine, maybe we can sneak.... nevermind mind wandering. Then I think about writing. Needless to say I wake up EVERY single day and think about my day to see if I can steal 30 mins just to sit and write. I don't care what form it's in whether I'm blogging, writing in my journal or continuing on with my book. When I don't get to write or share my thoughts I get in a funk. I am going to make it a point to take sometime everday to write. I also learned that I need to take SOME ME TIME. I am a mother, a wife, a writer and a teacher. A teacher wears more than one hat simultaneously (so most days I'm a nurse, therapist/counselor, disciplinarian just to name a few). I went out with the girls on Friday. We went to The Baton, a drag show and had a blast. We had a couple of drinks, made jokes, spent half of the night with our mouths hanging open. We could not believe how beautiful those men looked in drag. They looked better than some women I know (*Sad, but true story*). Then Alethea took me to Lalos, this Salsa resturant/club. My people take their salsa seriously. I had an amazing time. Then Alethea talked in the parking garage for 45 mins.The conversations I have with Ms. Watson are also wonderful. She's the kind of friend that tells you how it is. Not in a bogus way, but in a way that you can receive the information that she's giving you. Needless to say it was the girls night out that I needed. I included this to say, we as women ( well some of us) don't take the T out that we need sometimes from life. It may be a night of dancing, reading a book, writing, painting, going to a movie, whatever floats your boat. It's ok to take me time to refresh yourself.I was out having a good time, but I was just as eager to get back home to my hubby (mom had the baby ;)) . Double smiles for that ; ).

   " I think that sometimes I forget how much FUN life can be because of the stress of work and other little things."

Sometimes I just need to step back and look at life. It's a load of fun. Those of you who may not know my husband he's a wonderful man who is serious, but he loves life. He's fun loving and he always tries to remind me that everything is just not that serious nor is it worth is. Plus who couldn't love life with my spunky 2 year old. There are just too many things to be thankful for. I have been focusing so much on the negative and what I had lost. I've gained so much in the past year, it's plenty to be thankful for. I have to sit back and enjoy the simplicities in life. Great family, amazing friends,fine @$$ husband who is also my bestfriend, did I mention my awesome daughter, a steady pay check,two beautiful healthy godsons who both just happen to be named Mason/Maycen what more could a woman ask for? (God willing, I will start getting things for this youth center in order, pray for me ya'll). Yes and I know what I stated how thankful I was twice, but even that's not enough acknowledgement, but it will do for now. Blessed....loved.....thankful

Does anyone else forget to sit back and just enjoy life from time to time?

Black History Month

Happy Black History Month! Thanks to my mother I know a plethera of things that I wouldn't have, had she not taught us. We were given books to read about different black people when we were younger. It was always a treat for me cause I loved reading about people and their lives when I was younger.

      I say this to say TEACH your children. TEACH our babies about their history. Stop telling them just about Dr. Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman, Soujourner Truth, they are all wonderful/inspirational people. Learning about our history is not limited to slavery. That is not the only thing we went through, again not downplaying ANYTHING, by any means. Tell our kids that we came from Kings and Queens in Africa. That Africans were amoung the first to have a governement and have laws recorded.We are SMART, INTELLIGENT, BEAUTIFUL, AND CAN BE ANYBODY WE WANT TO BE.


This is my reasoning for saying this. I was in my mother's classroom when she asked on Feburary 1st, What is today? The kids looked around at each other or stared back at her with blank  faces. After they shouted out the obvious things,( February, Valentines Day etc) they looked around in complete confusion when the answer was NO. My mom had to give them some hints, they finally go it. Then she asked another question. What President ended Slavery? Why did a student begin to say Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Really? Dr. Marting Luther King Jr. ended slavery in the 60's. C'mon man.

Tell your children to put down the video games, give them books let them read about the Tuskegee Airmen, Mary McCleod Bethune, Medgar Evers, W.E.B. DeBuois, Benjimen Banikar, Josephine Baker,Bessie Smith, Angela Davis, and Marcus Gravey. Give them a book about Macolm X, the black panthers. Fill your children with this knowledge. Expose them to other music like Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Sam Cooke, Nat King Cole, Duke Ellington, Bill Withers, Instead of them just thinking Lil Wayne, Jay-Z, Kanye West Wiz Khalifa (sp) is the only kind of music out there. Let them know that we have invented things, we have written things, created things (paintings), written songs and sang them.

We have to do better as a people to educate our young black children. Let them know that while having the dream to be a rapper, basketball player,football player, model, singer, actor/actress, while it is great, not everyone is meant to be one of those. There are other things to do outside of that. Just take the time to eduacate your kids on our History.Most kids don't have the desire to go out and try to find books on their own.

What do you think?

Loss and Life

This is technically my first blog. It has been on my "to do" list for a while now. I figured no time like the present to get started. New Year, which means new goals to set and accomplish.
   I started out the New Year with the Loss of a loved one, my godfather and Uncle. Death always sucks no matter what package it is wrapped in. Whether is was old age, disease/illness, or completely unexpected. I do believe it is the unexpected ones that suck the absolute most. This one was most certainly unexpected and freak accident. I think my cousin said it best, "You fought in Vietnam and won, won the battle against colon cancer, then you fall off a ladder in a freak accident and die." Whatever the case when Contreras' honor their loved ones it is a LONG weekend. We had the wake from 2-8 that upcoming Saturday, the funeral and repass on Sunday. Then there was a Verterans Memorial service for them, where they shot the rifles and everything in honor of him. ( I definitely got to rifle shells, they will be a necklace soon.) Then Monday morning my godson Macen Lee Hernandez was born. He is handsome. And a blessing. 

      The cycle of life continues. It never fails, after every death a couple months later their is a new life in our family. We mourn the loss of the loved one, we recall memories of that person. It really doesn't sink in until the next family function, and you realize yes that person is gone. Death is so much easier to deal with when you're surrounded by family, love and support.( My Uncle was the first to pass on out of his 14 brothers and sisters.) It's when you get home and you have to do it on you're own that is the rough part. What you do from there, how you deal with it and move on that's what counts. There will always be a missing piece to the Contreras puzzle. My heart hurt the most for his wife, his kids and especially his grandkids. They were close to him like my daughter is to my father. Which still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. He lives on through them. He is in heaven rejoicing with Jesus, what more could anyone ask for?

      Macen was born to one of my bestfriends, who also happens to be my cousin. He was healthy and long.
He has his whole life ahead of him. Learning to grab, crawl, walk, talk, run everything, Watching him grow is going to be a jounrney.He is truly a blessing.

One thing I can say is that death brings our family together. And as dysfunctional as we are, cause we are, just for a couple of days we were a supportive, loving family and acted as such. I know we get on each others nerves, we fight, argue, fuss at each other. Sometimes we make a muck out of things. After all that we're still family. Family is suppose to be there no matter what. Like I mentioned earlier, it was a wake up call. We have to get it together. I hope this family unity is permanent and not temporary. We just need to do a better job of checking up on each other, seeing each other and just loving each other . The pointing of the fingers needs to stop and we just all need to do our part. It just makes me want to be the best me, a better wife and mother, a better writer and it makes me want to attain my goals. Life is precious, we can't take it for granted, I know we keep hearing that but are we Listening?