Marrying
my best friend was the best decision that I’ve ever made. I’ve always felt
closer to God with him. Since we’ve been married my personal relationship with
God has grown. My daughter is the product of a previous relationship. In the
beginning I was a little leary as to how he would take to her. Once he started
to get to know her it was no stopping it. My daughter is his daughter. He
previously wrote something like this (this is not it verbatim), “I did not
plant the seed, but I water it, tend to it, nurture it and give it the care
that it needs to grow.” He is her father. I don’t think anyone else would have
taken on that responsibility with as much grace as he did. Let’s fast forward
to now, we’re 9 months into our marriage and we’re happy. Not the put on a
happy face so everyone thinks we’re happy, we’re genuinely happy. We get on
each other’s nerves, last nerve sometimes, but we work through it. The older I
get there are things I notice about me that need work. Once you realize there
are things that need work, you can begin to work on them together. We pray
together, we talk about things; we have even gone over some of our notes from
pre-marital counseling. My marriage is not perfect, but it’s a happy one. So it
does exist.
When I
tell people how happy I am, it is combated with wait until you guys have that
first serious fight, and you might even come to the point where you’ll be
duking it out. My answer usually is, I don’t really see that happening, and the
response usually is, oh just wait it’s coming. The older married couples or the
divorced seem to enjoy scaring the younger generation. Oh marriage is hard
work. I Marriage takes a lot don’t get me wrong, but it you have a partner who
works with you, it’s not bad at all. Marrying your friend also helps because
you have the friendship established. That’s what helps our marriage, the fact
that we were best friends. Not the cliché, he’s my best friend. We were the we
kicked it hard, did everything together best friends. He didn’t become my best
friend after we started dating; he was my best friend before any of that came
into play. I don’t claim to know everything about marriage. I have a lifetime
to learn more. You just have to be open minded and not afraid to step outside your
comfort zone. God is the foundation of our relationship. My husband is the head
of my household and I do willingly submit to him. I trust that he will guide us
in the right direction, because he is being instructed by God. For all of the
women who cringe at the word submit (I was one of them), it takes a strong woman
to submit to her husband. It’s an equal thing that will happen throughout
marriage. Those of you who are married know what I’m talking about. I don’t keep secrets, there are no hidden
agendas, and we are honest and open with one another. I am saying all this to
say the women who have had kids and aren’t with the father, you don’t have to
settle, be patient. God created a man who will love you and your child(ren). There
are happily married young black couples. Blended families do work (this is
where effort is needed). I’m just so tired of the negativity that is focused
on. No one wants to hear the positive things going
on.
Shout out to the young black married couples doing their thing.
What do you think? What is your idea of a happy marriage? Do
you think it’s obtainable?
Love, Peace and Blessings
