Settling= A Recipe for Disaster pt. 2

 

 

 

I would like you to listen to the song first. I'll give you a couple minutes to do that now......

I was listening to this in the car the other day, it use to be my jam, expecially since I like to dance. = )

Anyways, well my husband and I talk about everything. We live in a time where men move in with their women. Women  pay for bills, rent etc. Men don't have cars and their driving around in their woman's whip. What is your limit?? and what are you (WOMEN) willing to accept from a man? I've dated the men who paid for everything, bought me nice things and tried to buy me instead of spend time with me. Then there was the guy who went halfsies on a lot of things. Then there was the guy who never had any money, to pay for dinner, gas, never really got me cards or took me any place special. If we went anywhere special I was usually paying for it.

 

 

I remember a very recent Sunday talking about the sermon after church. We were talking about the role of men and how we're designed. Our Pastor was talking to us about how men were designed to give and women were designed to receive. Men are the protectors and the providers. That being said I know we live in a different time. I know ladies we're I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T.

See video below.

 

 

                                       

 

Just because we can take care of ourselves, does not, I REPEAT does not mean I want to take care of a man child. Man child = an overgrown man who acts and thinks like a juvenile. Why are women settling for these men? You know, the men who when you leave the house for work at 7:30 am are playing playstation and when you come home from work at 5:30pm are in the exact same spot. Why do we continue to coddle grown ass men?Why is the lazy dude so much more appealing then the one who goes to work and has his own?I know it's about partnership, but how much are you willing to accept from a dude you just started dating? I've never been a gold digger and it's not about money, but you have to bring something to the table. And it's ok to let a man be man. Pay the bills, foot the bill at dinner, you know the bare minimum things. What are you allowing to go on?

 

Why are standards thrown out the window? Have you ever settled, like really settled, gotten to the point where you just got comfortable??

 

 

 



Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me!!

It's official I am 26, closer to 30 then I am 20. Some people my age flip out or have three years where they stay 25 lol. I am not one of those people. There is beauty in getting older and aging. In no way shape of form would I ever hope to going backwards especially with all the wisdom/knowledge that you gain with each year that passes. I had a get together last night, at my place, that my wonderful husband put together for me. I had a really good time, a blend of old friends, new friends and my best friend.

There was great conversation, food and awesome company. What more could a girl ask for? There was wine and beer of course. I had no urge to drink. Those that know me when I was a newly 21, knew that it use to be one of my favorite past times. Drinking and smoking. I don't know if it's the excited feeling of just knowing that you can and it's something so new to some that you go overboard. Looking back at 21, never. So last night it wasn't my intention to get blazed or white girl wasted.  Some of my friends that were over were like do you want to smoke no I quit, well then you better get drunk. I was just trying to figure out why did I have to do one or the other?

Happy Birthday with the TING TINGS lol!!

I was just sitting back engaged in good conversation with good people. The day before My husband took me go kart racing, mini golfing, played in an arcade and did some swinging in the batting cages. He then took me to Bolingbrook to walk around at the Promenade outside and then took me to this great resturant Bd's Mongolian grill. Great place to eat. I would suggest it to anyone, especially if you want to be more hands on with your meal. Needless to say I had a great weekend. Today is my actual birthday, my mom stopped by with my cake and peanut butter fudge that Kolby helped make. I still have the rest of the day.

I am thankful for God allowing me another of life to grow, learn, make mistakes, laugh, fall in love even more. I am thankful for the the time God gives me for our relationship to grow, for delivering me from a plethora of things that were unnecessary in my life. Thankful for the great family, friends and friends who have become family. Thankful for an amazing husband who keeps me balanced.  Thank you for awesome parents, that spoiled me with love. Thank you to my wonderful daughter who has helped me to be more responsible and look at life differently. All in all just happy that I was blessed with another year of life. Most of all I'm just happy that I'm starting to step into my purpose. This year is goint to be awesome. Maybe baby # 2???

Christian marriages and Sex

I have to start writing about things that aren't so easy to talk about (well at least for me so publicly). I am a faithful reader of the articles on the site blackandmarriedwithkids.com. It's a great website with positive articles and great insight. I recently had a discussion with my husband and a good friend of ours. We talked about sex. The way I use to talk about sex in comparison to how I do now is completely different. It's probably that way because I'm married. A completely different ball game. A good friend of mine and fellow blogger just recently blogged about Sex in Christian marriages.

  It's such a hot topic. = ). First I would just like to say we are CHRISTIANS people, not aliens, or a different species, which means ladies and gentlemen, we're human. We have desires, and fantasies as well (ours are just about our SPOUSE). I don't know who spread the word that we're just suppose to have sex in the missionary position with no SPICE?  Hebrews 13:4 "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Undefiled is defined as, free from stain or blemish ;not having its purity or excellence debased. (debased=reduced). (hey even I have to look up words sometimes.)
  To me that means you guys can try things that both parties are comfortable with. I don't need to make a list here, just use your imagination. God didn't say the only positions that are acceptable are x,y and z. He did not say that oral sex was excluded from your bedroom activities either. Men are visual creatures, so use that, own it. Be creative with your husband, do a sexy lap dance, a striptease for him or go Fifty Shades on him ( which will be a seperate blogpost) and tie him up . There are numerous possibilities out there to try with your husband/wife as long as you/they are willing. Show him your alter ego (the vixen you show him in the bedroom.) I just feel like my bedroom is a safe haven. I can express what I feel, what I like and definitely what I desire. I can do all that with my husband and he can do the same. Let's not get caught up on things that are dirty and not ALLOWED in the bedroom. I believe people have limits and boundaries, which your partner should respect.

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 Sex is ONE of many blessings, that SHOULD be experienced in marriage. I know this because I didn't wait. I know firsthand the consequences, (another blog, another day) that you face when you don't wait. Sex should be experienced with one person, that way there are no comparisons and just like everything else the two of you grow together in that aspect as well. This was the way God designed it.  I just want women/wives to know that it is ok to try things, it's your bedroom, what happens there is between you and your husband. I think it's healthy to add spice into the bedroom and always work on keeping the spice there. The information is right at our fingertips. We should do our homework here as well. Research different positions, techniques. We are not all sex guru's. I believe Jill Says it BEST. Read the article from Blackandmarriedwithkids.com
Too Many Sex Stipulations are Bad for Your Marriage.



What do you guys think? Do you think there should be some spice in the bedroom? Do you think that there are certain things not allowed?