I have to start writing about things that aren't so easy to talk about (well at least for me so publicly). I am a faithful reader of the articles on the site blackandmarriedwithkids.com. It's a great website with positive articles and great insight. I recently had a discussion with my husband and a good friend of ours. We talked about sex. The way I use to talk about sex in comparison to how I do now is completely different. It's probably that way because I'm married. A completely different ball game. A good friend of mine and fellow blogger just recently blogged about Sex in Christian marriages.
It's such a hot topic. = ). First I would just like to say we are CHRISTIANS people, not aliens, or a different species, which means ladies and gentlemen, we're human. We have desires, and fantasies as well (ours are just about our SPOUSE). I don't know who spread the word that we're just suppose to have sex in the missionary position with no SPICE? Hebrews 13:4 "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Undefiled is defined as, free from stain or blemish ;not having its purity or excellence debased. (debased=reduced). (hey even I have to look up words sometimes.)
To me that means you guys can try things that both parties are comfortable with. I don't need to make a list here, just use your imagination. God didn't say the only positions that are acceptable are x,y and z. He did not say that oral sex was excluded from your bedroom activities either. Men are visual creatures, so use that, own it. Be creative with your husband, do a sexy lap dance, a striptease for him or go Fifty Shades on him ( which will be a seperate blogpost) and tie him up . There are numerous possibilities out there to try with your husband/wife as long as you/they are willing. Show him your alter ego (the vixen you show him in the bedroom.) I just feel like my bedroom is a safe haven. I can express what I feel, what I like and definitely what I desire. I can do all that with my husband and he can do the same. Let's not get caught up on things that are dirty and not ALLOWED in the bedroom. I believe people have limits and boundaries, which your partner should respect.
Sex is ONE of many blessings, that SHOULD be experienced in marriage. I know this because I didn't wait. I know firsthand the consequences, (another blog, another day) that you face when you don't wait. Sex should be experienced with one person, that way there are no comparisons and just like everything else the two of you grow together in that aspect as well. This was the way God designed it. I just want women/wives to know that it is ok to try things, it's your bedroom, what happens there is between you and your husband. I think it's healthy to add spice into the bedroom and always work on keeping the spice there. The information is right at our fingertips. We should do our homework here as well. Research different positions, techniques. We are not all sex guru's. I believe Jill Says it BEST. Read the article from Blackandmarriedwithkids.com
Too Many Sex Stipulations are Bad for Your Marriage.
What do you guys think? Do you think there should be some spice in the bedroom? Do you think that there are certain things not allowed?
first, let me say, great video/song choice. you should already know the love I have for jill *sigh* lol
ReplyDeletebut, in all seriousness, I totally agree with you on that what two married people do in their bedroom is their thing and no holds should be barred.
my issue comes in with the "defiling" of the bed and the sexually immoral being dealt with by God. What does it mean to be sexually immoral when it comes to your spouse? How can a married couple defile their bed??
I just feel like each time I'm close to figuring this life out, something else is brought to my attention and sets me way back. After I posted my Sex in Christian Marriages piece, a reader told me after having read it, "there are more ways than missionary to have sex." I was speechless only because she was turning her nose up at anything other than missionary.
to say i was confused is an understatement. I just don't know. Just gon' stay chaste until Jehovah's return. I have NOT the time to be condemned! lol
Ok so to try and tackle your question, a marriage bed is shared between a husband and wife. I believe a way of defiling your bed would be bringing another person in, a husband or wife watching porn when by themselves. Fantasizing about someone else while you're making love to your spouse. There are plenty of ways to defile your marriage bed. But that's just my thinking.
ReplyDeleteAnd the people who turn their nose up to other positions, I don't know what to I say. There are certain days I favor one thing and maybe a week from then I will
want to try something new. Who knows? I like variety, change and as a husband and wife you should want to satisfy each other. It definitely goes deeper than that, but you get the gist.