Experiencing Interracial Marriage.....

 

 

I have another guest blogger this week, Lori. I met Lori at work, she's very organized (when I say organized, I mean ORGANIZED lol), sweet and the thing we have most in common is Christ  (Probably one of the best things to have in common with some one, well at least I think so. Oh we both have ADORBABLE little girls.) I was very excited when she said agreed to write, check her out.

 

It’s hard to believe that less than 50 years ago, interracial marriages were still pretty much illegal across the United States. By the time I was born, Loving vs. Virginia had only occurred 13 years earlier. I can’t exactly pinpoint the age I was when I knew, but I just knew. I would grow up and marry a man outside of my race…a black man to be exact. Why? Perhaps it was because out of all of the bullying I received from first grade through high school, not one of the bullies was black. Perhaps it was because black boys befriended me; white boys did not. Or maybe it was just the pure and simple fact that I always seemed to be attracted to the black males. Regardless, this attraction and desire to date outside of my race was heavily frowned upon by my parents. “You can be friends with them, but you cannot date them.” I lost count of how many times I heard that statement growing up! Despite my parents’ beliefs (at the time; they since have changed), I chose to respect them and left my desires in God’s hands.

 

By the time I met my (now) husband at age 24, I had been living over 500 miles away from my parents and supporting myself for over three years. Yet, I was a nervous wreck when I dialed their phone number to let them know I had met someone. I knew what their reaction would be, and while I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint them, I knew it was time to face their beliefs that I had always been so strongly against and lovingly tell them that this was a man they could trust their baby girl’s heart with, despite the fact that we did not share the same skin color.  It took about six solid months of dating before CJ was fully accepted by my parents…and that was eight years ago. God used our relationship to show my parents that life/marriage is not about color.

 

Over the past (almost) seven years of marriage, I have experienced a limited amount of difficulties or challenges. For the most part, my husband and I have both felt loved and accepted. No one has ever been blatantly disrespectful or rude to us out in public. We do live in a “melting pot” area of the country; everywhere I look I see interracial couples. I feel like we “fit right in.” However, we are the minority in some very pertinent areas of our lives. For example, while our Church has become more diverse over the past few years, it is still predominately white. And the private school we send our daughter to is almost all white (that was a huge challenge for my hubby to deal with). There are certain towns that we will never move to because either CJ feels out of place or I do. We have found what works for us as a couple and as a family.

 

While I know there are countless people from all races and walks of life that are adamantly against interracial marriage, their thoughts, actions, and decisions are out of our control. I choose to not live my life for others, nor do I make my decisions based on what others feel is “right” or “wrong.” CJ and I don’t invite drama into our lives, marriage, or family; therefore, we surround ourselves with people that will lovingly support us.

 

CJ and I are complete opposites, but I don’t feel it’s because we are from different races. God uses our strengths and weaknesses to help make our marriage stronger and more unified. We have taught one another many things, and I believe the same is true for other marriages out there, regardless of the couples’ races. While on the outside, CJ and I obviously have drastically different skin tones, he’s my husband. He’s the love of my life, and we choose to find our identity in Christ…not in the color of our skin.  

 

I love that she said, " CJ and I don't invite drama into our lives, marriage, or family; therefore, we surround ourselves with people that will lovingly support us." I think that's one of the most important things in a marriage. Surround yourselves with loving and supportive people. Thanks Lori for sharing a piece of your life with us.

 

Any comments?