Black Classic Cinema Returns: The Best Man Holiday

When I heard this movie was coming out I was OVER the MOON excited. I can't remember the last time I was this geeked to see a movie. When was the last time a movie like this came out? It's of the same caliber as The Wood, its pre-quel Best Man, Love Jones, Brown Sugar and The Brothers. Take a minute and seriously think about? There are so many talented black actors in this movie. It's about love, real life situations that many people go through and the connections (relationships) that people have with one another. My husband made a very good point yesterday, relationships are the most powerful connection that we have to one another, other than the relationship that you have with God.  

The depiction of black love and interpersonal interactions between characters, a thing of beauty. It's something that is not seen in every movie, but you see how vital it is to the movie. Connections. Best Man Holiday made me go through a roller coaster of emotions. Watching to see how the characters had grown and stayed the same connected it back to the original film. (Mind you we were sitting next to a young woman who had never seen The Best Man... UGH)  It's raw and real; close to something that we experience with our own friends. The characters are definitely something we can relate to and have to deal with. Learning to move forward and learn from our past. Definitely learning what it means to truly forgive and seeing what unforgiveness can do to your heart. It's nice to see the importance of friendship and what it truly means to be faithful to God.

The relationship between Harper and Jordyn, and Harper and wife Robyn is a real life situation. Two of the most important women in his life don't mesh. It doesn't always end where the two women end up being besties. Candy and Merch, where the past meets the future and for a few minutes your ego gets the best of you. Egos can ruin a lot of things. The chemistry between the cast is dynamic, none of it seems forced. There is a genuine love and respect for one another.

 

 

 

You see the transition from friends to family and what all that means; you take the good with the bad. Love is what the movie is based on. The depiction of characters and the development of them, every aspect they had in the movie made it what it was, which was EVERYTHING.

The positive image of black relationships another aspect that needed to be applauded. Despite what you see around you, there are successful black relationships and marriages going on around you. I was for damn sure happy to see it up on the big screen for ALL to see. It definitely lived up to the hype. It was so great, my husband I talked about it on and off all day, and I woke up thinking about it. I'm a sucker for romantic comedies. I recommend all to go out and see the movie.

 

Which movie was your favorite? The Best Man or The Best Man Holiday?

 

Our Family Unit

I'm back. = ) I've been getting into the swing of things and just needed a mental vacation away, so I took one. There are a lot of NEW things happening with our family. First and foremost  I have been dealing with all day sickness and carrying out my other duties as wife and mother. We found out that we are expecting another child April 2014. Our toddler just started her first week of pre-school. We are over the moon excited about the new changes with our family.

I think over the past few months I have learned a numerous amount of things about the people in my life. My husband is a father and a damn good one. He is a father, not a father figure. A father figure is a basketball coach or Uncle who tells you to pull up your pants and teaches you other life lessons. A father is someone who is actively involved on a day to day basis, a person who takes care of their child, disciplines, teaches and plays with their child.

When I speak of a blended family. I am talking about the immediate family unit, my husband, myself and our children. I have a wonderful support system in my family and my in laws. If you ask my in laws how many grandchildren they have, they'll tell you they have one with another on the way. No step-grandchildren, a grandchild , to ask them how they feel about having their first "Real" grandchild (trust that has been said out loud to them.) it is pretty offensive.

I don't think people understand a love like that. To love a child who is biologically not yours but loving them as if they are. That type of love is incredible. People say they understand verbally, but their actions say differently. It's hard to expect someone to understand when they haven't experienced God's love. God's love is limitless, it heals all wounds. Trust, that's something we know well in this household. I acknowledge good and well that my daughter has 2 fathers. Ask Kolby, she'll tell you. Our doors are always open to anyone who wants to see her or visit. It's been like that since day one. The fact that some don't take advantage of it, or feel a certain way about it, that's on you.

To tell me my husband is a father figure is an insult and rubs me the wrong way. I have an amazing dad. I have a great father in law. I have also had my share of father figures as well. My blended family works the way it works. Is there room for improvement ? Always. Like my husband stated what works for us may not work for you. Some of our friends don't know how to blend and frankly it makes no difference. My family exemplifies love. Lori said it perfectly in her blog, " We surround ourselves with people that will lovingly support us." For me that's not just with their words, but also with their actions.

I think about it now because we don't believe in step this and half that. My next child will be her brother/sister. We are put here for a purpose and my family was put together for a purpose. Lori also said, " Peoples thoughts, actions and decisions are out of our control, I chose not to live my life for others." Some of our friends and family have blended well and some have not at the end of the day you can chose to be a part of our unit or not.

Christians....We don't live in a Box.

Several months ago we had a get together for my husband's birthday. I love having people over cooking for them and then watching them enjoy the food, it's great. Like most times we end up talking about God and life. It's wonderful. One of our friends described Christianity as living in a box. I had to step back and think about it for a minute. There are many people out there that would probably describe Christianity as such.

There are a great deal of people out there who don't want to be held accountable for their actions. They do not want rules to live their life by. A lot of people are into living life to the fullest and living in the moment. They don't think of consequences to their actions. It's selfish. In the end if something does go wrong you end up hurting not only yourself, but everyone who loves you. God has things set up a certain way, that way things fall into place. When we go against God's ways that's when we have problems. Things are set up the way they are to protect us from hurt. I understand that now. It's not to limit the fun that we have in this life. The people who think God doesn't want us to have fun, don't your parents want to see you happy and having fun? Why would God be any different? He is our Father right?

The closer I get on my spiritual walk the happier I have become. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the closest I have felt to God is with my husband. It's a beautiful and freeing feeling to be able to worship/praise God and pray with my husband. It's freeing I don't feel limited at all being a Christian. I love to dance, sing and listen to music. I heart music. Hey Christians even tell jokes. We laugh we have a good time, we discuss different topics, we learn. Reading the Bible is exciting, there are so many life lessons in there that can be applied to everyday life. It's a book that is timeless.

I even drink a glass of wine here and there. I'm not perfect, but being a Christian isn't about living a perfect life. You're bound to fall short, the difference is acknowledging it, asking for forgiveness and moving forward. It's about living a life full of love. It's about being kind, forgiving and understanding. Being able to serve and help others, it just enriches life. Being a Christian is about growth. I had conversation with my sister last night. I was just amazed at how much she has grown spiritually in just a year, I stopped at points in our conversation just to tell God Thank you. That has been one of my biggest prayers for my siblings Faith to grow stronger and for them to have a personal relationship with God.  We have too much to do here while we're on Earth, than to waste time being mad over miscommunications. My personal favorite is when people let pride get in the way. Pride is a roadblock; it just gets in the way and is a total inconvenience. It complicates situations that don't need to be complicated. Being a Christian is also about reconciling. Why not? Life is better when your getting along with the people you love right? It's kind of a get in where you fit in situation. If you see an opportunity to make amends then you should, even when you think there isn't room for it, we should create our own opportunity for reconciliation.

I am open minded. I love. I do understand that all Christians are not like this. My prayer is that we become more like our heavenly father. If anything being a Christian is anything but living in a box. I understand that people don't want to sacrifice certain things and that's what you're doing when you give your live to Christ. I feel it's the least you can do. He did live as a man, kicked it with the undesirable and died on the cross JUST FOR US.  I'm just saying. I have gained so much more in life. I just want to do what I am called to do and Glorify God while I do it.

What are you living for? Do you feel that Freedom?

 

Accepting Applications for a Good man.....

                                 

It's funny how all these different topics are relevant to my life in some shape or form. Our site coordinator for our building, her brother stopped by to talk to her and since that's my homie she brought him down to my room to meet me. They look like twins except for the fact that he is a giant. She also introduced him to my mom and of course my mom asked if he was married or seeing someone. She jokingly said that she had some available friends and chuckled. Then later when my mom and I were talking she asked if I met our site coordinator's brother. She was like he's a man who can build almost anything and he likes to work with his hands. She was like he's the kind of man women need to be looking for. A man that works with his hands and is not afraid to work. I said I'm sure he cleans up pretty nice too. I started writing this blog a few days before this happened. but it got me thinking and it was just further validation that I needed to write me blog and publish. I just looked up and said, "Alright God, I hear you."

I want a GOOD man. I don't know how many times I've heard women (me included) say this. I truly believe that we attract what we are. If you're currently a mess I wouldn't advise you to go out and try to find a mate. (I'm just saying) Women continuously ask for a good men, when we're asking this we have to make sure that we've examined ourselves and have something good to offer as well. But I believe first and foremost we most love and like ourselves in order to proceed to the next step. Women when you ask for something sincerely in your heart and you are in the place to receive it, accept the good thing that God blesses you with when it comes. I asked for a Good man and paraded around with all the wrong men, while I had my good man there all along.

 I promise, I woke up one day (when Brandon and I were together previously) thinking about our relationship. He was great a gentleman, opening doors, affectionate, thoughtful, loving and the list goes one, we didn't argue, we got along great. I just thought to myself why is everything going so great? why is he so nice? Mind you this is what I had prayed for, but I wasn't willing to accept it once I had it. I questioned it and started picking fights, now this, this was what I was use to. Just cause it was something that I was use to doesn't mean that this is how relationships are suppose to be. I'll chalk it up to being immature.

I'm sharing this to say that I'm sure this happens all too often in our world ladies. Some of us have to learn how to break patterns, STOP GOING AFTER THE boys dressed up like Men. Step out the box date the nice guy, cause at the end of the day that's who you want to be with anyways. Stop being so quick to put the good guy in the friend zone and continue to chase after the "bad boy." Women want a good man, but aren't willing to go through the necessary steps to procure a good man. (Not all women, hats off to the women who reeled the good guy in the first time around : )) We have to trust in God, like I keep telling you God's got you. We have to stop ignoring that gut feeling that he gives us, if we started listening we would get out of dead end relationships much quicker. God does reveal to us things about our partners, we just have to pay attention. Why is it that we continue to ask for good guys but end up running behind the boys playing dress up?  Women can meet someone have a great chemistry with someone, then try to find a flaw in them, so that they can go back to guy that continues to treat them like the dirt on the bottom of your shoe.

 We have to accept our blessings in the whatever form they come in.( mine just happened to be 6'0, chocolate with big arms... another woman's blessing might be 5'10 and look like Drake, when Drake was Jimmy on DeGrassi lol let me stop. The next time you're praying and asking for something/someone, ask yourself one question am I ready for it?

Has anyone else tried to sabotage a relationship that was going great because you weren't ready?

It Happens.......

 

 

Larry previously wrote The Silent Killer and this week Larry has some words of wisdom that he would like to share.

I have had a few friends within the past few days tell me that people when it comes to people not loving each other anymore, "it just happens". You may see this as a true statement but it's not a  very accurate statement.. "it  happens" implies that there is nothing you can do to stop it.."It happens". This is wrong! It doesn't have to happen, it doesn't just happen, its a process! It is a process that can be halted then reversed. We all get to the moment where that "in love" feeling fades. We have to realize that feelings come and go and they can be sustained or depleted. To restore those feelings you must guide your heart. You love what you put your time into. If you keep your time and effort where it belongs (in your marriage with your spouse) you have a better chance of continuing the in love feeling you desire.  The truth is, Love itself is a choice of commitment.


Now a days we have soo much vying for our attention other than our spouse. It is so easy to get caught up in these chat rooms and other forms of social media! These online relationships are detrimental to your marriage. If you are into these types of things please remember the 80/20 rule! Your online relationship is a fantasy that will lead you down the wrong path!

 Proverbs 14:12-13 AMP
There is a way which seems right to a man and appears straight before him, but at the end of it is the way of death. Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful, and the end of mirth is heaviness and grief... Stay committed to you marriage and realize that some times it takes quite a while to get it right but its worth it! I know that in todays' "all about me society" it is hard to do this but; it would be in you and your family's best interest to switch from your microwave mentality and go conventional oven! Have more patience and wait on the Lord through your process! Remember that your marriage and the fruit it bares is BIGGER than you! I want to leave you with a few scriptures to help you through your trials...

Mark 8:34-35 AMP
If anyone intends to come after Me, let him deny himself [forget, ignore, disown, and lose sight of himself and his own interests] and take up his cross, and [joining Me as a disciple and siding with My party] follow with Me [continually, cleaving steadfastly to Me]. For whoever wants to save his [higher, spiritual, eternal] life, will lose it [the lower, natural, temporal life which is lived only on earth]; and whoever gives up his life [which is lived only on earth] for My sake and the Gospel’s will save it [his higher, spiritual life in the eternal kingdom of God].

Galatians 6:9 AMP
And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

Isaiah 40:31 AMP
But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.
Bind these words around your neck..i.e. Meditate on these words daily and seek Godly counsel so that you may weather the storm.
--Never Let Go


What do you guys think?

Experiencing Interracial Marriage.....

 

 

I have another guest blogger this week, Lori. I met Lori at work, she's very organized (when I say organized, I mean ORGANIZED lol), sweet and the thing we have most in common is Christ  (Probably one of the best things to have in common with some one, well at least I think so. Oh we both have ADORBABLE little girls.) I was very excited when she said agreed to write, check her out.

 

It’s hard to believe that less than 50 years ago, interracial marriages were still pretty much illegal across the United States. By the time I was born, Loving vs. Virginia had only occurred 13 years earlier. I can’t exactly pinpoint the age I was when I knew, but I just knew. I would grow up and marry a man outside of my race…a black man to be exact. Why? Perhaps it was because out of all of the bullying I received from first grade through high school, not one of the bullies was black. Perhaps it was because black boys befriended me; white boys did not. Or maybe it was just the pure and simple fact that I always seemed to be attracted to the black males. Regardless, this attraction and desire to date outside of my race was heavily frowned upon by my parents. “You can be friends with them, but you cannot date them.” I lost count of how many times I heard that statement growing up! Despite my parents’ beliefs (at the time; they since have changed), I chose to respect them and left my desires in God’s hands.

 

By the time I met my (now) husband at age 24, I had been living over 500 miles away from my parents and supporting myself for over three years. Yet, I was a nervous wreck when I dialed their phone number to let them know I had met someone. I knew what their reaction would be, and while I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint them, I knew it was time to face their beliefs that I had always been so strongly against and lovingly tell them that this was a man they could trust their baby girl’s heart with, despite the fact that we did not share the same skin color.  It took about six solid months of dating before CJ was fully accepted by my parents…and that was eight years ago. God used our relationship to show my parents that life/marriage is not about color.

 

Over the past (almost) seven years of marriage, I have experienced a limited amount of difficulties or challenges. For the most part, my husband and I have both felt loved and accepted. No one has ever been blatantly disrespectful or rude to us out in public. We do live in a “melting pot” area of the country; everywhere I look I see interracial couples. I feel like we “fit right in.” However, we are the minority in some very pertinent areas of our lives. For example, while our Church has become more diverse over the past few years, it is still predominately white. And the private school we send our daughter to is almost all white (that was a huge challenge for my hubby to deal with). There are certain towns that we will never move to because either CJ feels out of place or I do. We have found what works for us as a couple and as a family.

 

While I know there are countless people from all races and walks of life that are adamantly against interracial marriage, their thoughts, actions, and decisions are out of our control. I choose to not live my life for others, nor do I make my decisions based on what others feel is “right” or “wrong.” CJ and I don’t invite drama into our lives, marriage, or family; therefore, we surround ourselves with people that will lovingly support us.

 

CJ and I are complete opposites, but I don’t feel it’s because we are from different races. God uses our strengths and weaknesses to help make our marriage stronger and more unified. We have taught one another many things, and I believe the same is true for other marriages out there, regardless of the couples’ races. While on the outside, CJ and I obviously have drastically different skin tones, he’s my husband. He’s the love of my life, and we choose to find our identity in Christ…not in the color of our skin.  

 

I love that she said, " CJ and I don't invite drama into our lives, marriage, or family; therefore, we surround ourselves with people that will lovingly support us." I think that's one of the most important things in a marriage. Surround yourselves with loving and supportive people. Thanks Lori for sharing a piece of your life with us.

 

Any comments?

Just the TWO of Us

                                         (Side note I downloaded your wedding song while you were dancing dope choice for a first dance. Check out the Video below : ))


This past weekend I had to pleasure of attending (a good friend of mine) a beautiful union between DeShawn and Tracy. I went upstairs before the wedding to pray with Tracy (God puts it on my heart to do these things that I would never just do on my own, he knows I need a little push) She looked beautiful, a little jittery, but very excited. I hugged her and told her everything was going to be alright. I went downstairs to join my husband in the sanctuary. (Which btw was beautifully decorated and packed.) DeShawn looked genuinely happy and read to marry the woman he loves. You could just see how much he loves her by the way he was watching her sashay down the aisle towards him. That was great to see. People always notice how excited the Bride is, he was equally ecstatic. Watching someone you love marry the person they love and seeing the love between them, it's a beautiful thing.

We enjoyed ourselves very much. I believe the thing that stuck out to me the most were the speeches/toasts given at the reception. While the speeches were going on Brandon whispered to me, "They're being ministered to right now and they don't even know it ." Be each others Who? What? Why? When? and How? DeShawn was told by Tracy's sisters that they're her family, but he now comes before them. Remember at the end of the day it's just you two. One of the groomsmen gave a fantastic toast as well. He explained how both Tracy and DeShawn both have a blueprint on how a marriage is suppose to work. (Their parents) Everyone at the wedding, we're just added support and around to be encouraging, but it's just the two of them in THEIR marriage. Surround yourselves with loving, supportive all around good people.

If you want a successful marriage you surround yourselves with other happily married folks. We have to support and uplift each other. What is true is that in a marriage it's you, your spouse and God. That's it. Not your mama, daddy, sister, brother or friends. You cannot share everything and you cannot let everyone into your marriage. I like that it was reiterated by almost everyone who gave a speech. In marriage your spouse becomes your family and is first, their needs come before EVERYBODY else. I keep saying this because I believe some family members like to test this part of marriage. Some family members like to put you in awkward positions with your spouse and there are even some who try to challenge your spouse coming before everything and everyone.

I'm just saying all this to say your spouse should be the first person you want to share things with, always communicate what's going on with each other. Tracy, I am proud of the women that you're becoming and so very happy for you; DeShawn I have only had the pleasure of meeting you a couple of times, but I look forward to getting to know you more. I pray your marriage is long, happy and more than you ever dreamed of. Love you both Cheers to the newly weds.

Has anyone had problems with people trying to be all up in your marriage? (<---- lol wording)

<3