Recently I was texting my girlfriend and asked her how the wedding planning was coming along? She told me that everything was moving fast and that she was a tad bit nervous. Naturally, I asked why? Her response was, "Just about being a wife and making sure I don't lose myself."
I discuss everything with my husband, so this is the combined answer that I was able to give her. To a certain extent you have to lose yourself cause it's not all about self anymore (even though the world will have you thinking otherwise) but the things that you give up/lose are nothing in comparison to what you gain. Then Brandon and I discussed the topic a bit further. Brandon said, "That's the problem people are so into not losing themselves, it's all about me, me, me still. And when you get married it's no longer about you. I don't think I ever thought of it in that sense though, you realize things about you change but I believe that so much more goodness is added to you that you don't realize the parts that change. (Does that make sense?)
Matthew 19:4-6
"Haven't you read," he replied,"that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man serperate.
I had to face it as well, there are just things about you that don't work in a marriage, things that need to change or somethings that need to completely be gotten rid of. There is also this thing called compromise. Compromise is a hard word for some people to wrap their heads around. Compromise means you don't always get your way. I have ephipanies here and there and I am SUPER THANKFUL for them. The longer I am married the more I understand the phenomenon of the two will become one flesh. God is not just talking about sexually, but in your mind and spirit. It truly is a beautiful concept, being on one accord. How could you not want to ditch the I for a We?You are still you in marriage, but things about you change, to some that's scary. I think people worry too much about things that aren't really a big deal. My husband and I are equally wrapped up in each other. Incorporating God into everday life was a decision that we made together, on one accord.
I love music and I absolutely love to dance. I can't explain the feeling that it gives me, but it's wonderful. My husband on the other hand is not a dancer. I think he can dance, but he use to tell me he didn't understand how I can stay out on the dance floor song after song and just dance. I use to get so mad, he would dance for 30 seconds and be done. This evening, he danced with me song after song, took a break danced some more with me. He saw the joy on my face when he was dancing with me and how happy it made me. He even said dancing made him have a better time. Compromise, Brandon will dance with me for songs at a time, but he will sit out and watch me dance. I'm more than ok with that.
Brandon loves football, I use to enjoy it more before I had a kid, but Brandon really loves football.
Every year he has a couple of Fantasy teams and he really seems to enjoy himself. Compromise I told him that this year he could explain to me the rules of football and maybe I could even join a fantasy league so we can do it together. I'm not always going to watch football, but I can watch with him and not be a grouch.
I lose the part that use to be grouchy and enjoy one of my babes favorite pasttimes and Brandon doesn't have to watch me be upset because he doesn't want to dance. Win win, I think the both of us gain something that is so much more and that is the joy of making your spouse happy. When your spouse is happy, smiling and in a good mood doesn't that make you feel good too?
It makes for a happier household I think...when you have a happy househould things run a bit more smoothly....Compromise is not always easy, but it is a choice. While compromising might not be easy for you, the results of compromise can make life better. (Does that make sense?)
What do you think??
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